A World of Difference

I spent years learning English in school, but none of these terms or phrases came up in those lessons. 

It turns out nobody uses the greeting "'Ello governor". Nobody even says, "Hi, how are you?" Nope, it's, "You right?" I've been here for three months and it still catches me off guard. I generally respond with a hesitant, "Yeah," because for the first 28 years of my life if someone asked whether I was alright meant I didn't seem alright. Maybe one day I'll casually reply, "Yeah. You right?" like I'm a true local. But for now I'll wonder if they're referring to my lack of make-up, my hair being a constant mess or using my umbrella in even the lightest spray of rain. 

They've got a new word over here that I'd never heard. It first appeared when I got my job and people started talking about the rota. It means the schedule. But what are the origins of this word? Is it slang for roster or maybe rotation?  

If you asked Mr Wolf the time over here and it was 4:30pm. He'd respond with, "Half four." The word past is completely obsolete when it's 30 minutes past the hour. 

"Fit" doesn't just relate to your cardiovascular health. It describes a person's level of attractiveness. Forget words like "hot" or "cute" or phrases like "good looking". If someone's looking fine just refer to them as fit. 

"Poorly" doesn't just refer to your bank account after you've parted with your astronomical monthly rent payment. If you're ill or under the weather, you would be considered poorly.

Instead of shortening "I have not," by saying "I haven't," it's more common to hear "I've not." And sometimes grammar is thrown to the wind. Rather than "standing next to" an object, over here you might be "stood by" that object. 

Back in Australia you have muesli bars, in America you have granola bars, and in England you have cereal bars. Why is this important? Because I'm obsessed with the tasty morsels of convenience and needed to be able to located them in my local Tesco, which is a supermarket where the people at the registers sit down, and you pack your own bags. This compounded with the pressure of putting my card back in my wallet led me self service. 

At the shops over here you'll also find plasters, not band-aids, and hoovers, not vacuums. 

If you're too lazy to cook after shopping you can grab a Happy Meal from Mackies, not Macca's. 

Then you can burn off those calories doing the Hokey Cokey, not the Hokey Pokey. And that's what the English language is all about in the Motherland... or what I've discovered so far.