A Free Ride
About two weeks ago I decided to use another Magic Pass. This time on Thorpe Park. I dragged Eamon along for the ride. This theme park was a place I’d never heard of until I started working at LEGOLAND, and Eamon had never heard of until I suggested it.
We entered through a store and straight into a section of the park with a whole bunch of water rides.
On a cool English day, water rides didn’t seem like the best idea. After deciding against the water rides, we started with the Detonator in Angry Birds Land.
Then came the worst "ride" of the day - 4D Angry Birds Experience. We sat down and realised the floor was wet. We didn't sign up for a water ride. It was a movie where the seats moved and we were sprayed with water - one of us more than the other.
Next was the volcano roller coaster. Nemesis Inferno was probably the best ride of the day. Of course it included “steam”, which was a light spray of water.
After being sprayed with water in non-water rides I was convinced to do an actual water ride.
The previous riders exiting Storm Surge didn’t appear to be wet, but we couldn’t see their soaked shoes. The bottom of the raft was filled with ankle deep water.
We walked past the Derren Brown Ghost Train. There was a sign near the entrance that simply said “90 mins”. We assumed it was the wait time, but Eamon wanted to confirm, so asked the ride attendant, “What’s ninety minutes?”
Her response? “An hour and a half.”
Thank you for that.
After our informative maths lesson, we opted for some roller coasters instead. Most of them were fun, but quite brief.
Our legs dangled through The Swarm. Stealth was a blink and you miss it experience, but the ride forces kept our eyes open.
I’m not the greatest selfie taker. It’s not surprising my attempt to capture Eamon (who is basically twice my height), myself and a van in a photo near the Amity roller coaster didn’t exactly work out.
Next was a longer roller coaster. Colossus was competing for best ride of the day until the triple corkscrew section where I thought my brain was going to burst through my eye sockets and nostrils.
Eamon’s lunch consisted of nachos with disappointing cheese. My pre-packed lunch included a muesli bar, naturally.
It began to sprinkle. The park was turning into one big water ride.
Thorpe Park was hosting its annual Fright Nights. I didn't want to get scared, but would do a maze because this was my first and last visit to the theme park. Eamon was pretty excited about The Walking Dead and we’d been seeing things like this all day.
The Walking Dead maze beckoned.
I expected to be scared. I wasn’t. It was like walking through a dodgy part of town. I later discovered the maze was in the gory category. Apparently there are also intense mazes.
Ready for a scare we ventured back to the Derren Brown Ghost Train with a 30 min wait. That's half an hour, in case you were wondering. And it’s the longest we queued all day.
What I neglected to mention earlier is the last time I rode a ghost train I was about seven years old, terrified and I haven’t been on one since. I thought I was ready to face my fears. I was wrong. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, apart from two very brief moments.
We considered finishing the day with another ride, but opted for a hole lot of doughnuts instead.
How many doughnuts were purchased? Not one or two, but ten. I ate one. I can’t confirm exactly what happened to the other nine.
Then it was time to head home. On each bus and train I wondered if I would be stepping onto another Derren Brown Ghost Train... or worse... another water ride.
Thorpe Park
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